Chloe the Dog

 

We had to say goodbye to my office companion of the last 10 years. A runaway picked up by a local shelter, I knew as soon as I saw her she’d be mine.

They told me she was house broken…then she peed in the car on the way home. House broken…car broken…semantics. But she was a keeper from the very start. I guess that’s what happens when a dog pees in your car and gets away with it. 

She was a climber and a chewer. High energy. But I noticed she was skittish at times…like when I brought the paper in from outside…skittish enough to make me wonder if she was abused before she ran away and was picked up by the shelter. 

Her name was “Tootsie” at the shelter, but I could name her whatever I wanted, so Chloe it was. We’ll never know her original name. We’ll never know anything for sure about her first 6 months…except she escaped it. And she landed with me. And we were good for each other.

We were a team. She’d chew my stuff and I’d buy new stuff. She’d eat and sleep for free and I’d buy her food and new beds. I think she chewed through her first 8 beds. Maybe it was 9. Doesn’t matter. I’d’ve bought her a 10th if it came to that. That’s what you do with a dog you love. 

After a couple years she settled down to focus on her career. She was a lifelong pursuer of squirrels. She studied them daily. She mapped and plotted relentlessly. She’d run zoomies in the house as if in training. She only caught a squirrel once, but when she adjusted her grip, it escaped. As time went on she chased less and eventually settled for watching squirrel-vision from the comfort of the back deck. 

Her health problems befuddled me. Surgeries mounted. Vet bills? Kind of don’t remember how much. Honestly. That’s really not so much the point. But when her body is done…it’s done.

I’m saying goodbye..but I won’t have a chance to forget. I’m pretty sure her hair will be in my truck until the day my truck dies. And those smudge marks on the window… I just might leave them there for a while as well. 

Figure It Out, Or Don’t

 

I haven’t figured out life yet. So how could I pretend to have Facebook figured out? I don’t… or is it …I haven’t? See, I don’t even have the vernacular figured out. But one thing I have figured out, is there are lots of people from my past that have figured out how to generate positivity. And I’m not talking about the fake manufactured positivity. So…generated may not be the best word.. but this positivity I’m talking about seems to flow naturally and effortlessly. I like that. I think we all do. 

One time many years ago my car just quick working …on a busy interstate… during rush hour. Kaput. Turns out it was electrical…nothing I could do. But I was stranded…cars veering around me. I was that vehicle causing a backup on the major throughway on the radio’s evening traffic report. 

I had never been so glad to see a tow truck pull up behind me and divert traffic with its sheer size and mostly its blinking lights. I was being rescued and I didn’t even have to call. And before you think it was just some guy circling around waiting for an accident or stalled car…I was in a bind… actual danger…in my compact car…stuck in a middle lane during rush hour. I was very happy to get this help so quickly. 

So…we did our basic talk to get my car out of the way and on its way to a garage, and the driver asks me if I taught high school math at a certain place. I said yes..and asked his name. Turns out, he was a former student…and really…he literally got me out of a dangerous jam. 

This happened way before social media. Mobile phones were just beginning to be a thing. But over the years, I’ve had curiosity regarding many of my former students. The tow truck driver? Turns out he’s a magnificent professional photographer now. I “like” his quality photos on a regular basis. They take me to familiar places in ways I’ve not experienced quite like before. 

Another student in a couple of my classes early on…sold my house a few years ago…with excellent service I’d recommend to anyone. 

Another former student treated one of my kids in an urgent care visit. 

Another guy I called to have my carpet replaced…gave me 5 star service. I didn’t even realize he was a former student until a couple of phone conversations. I then learned it was his last installation before going into real estate himself. I lucked out by getting him when I did. He did a great job. I consider he and his wife great people I’m honored to call them friends now. 

So yeah, I’ve ventured out a bit and became Facebook friends with quite a few former students. Good people. I don’t know how else to describe it. And it gives me good feels. Again…cheap language, but maybe you know what I’m talking about. 

Several former students went into education as teachers or counselors. Man... I hold them in highest regards. 

Some went on to be outstanding musicians…ones that I have paid money to see. One of them, I connected with, and he gives me guitar lessons from time to time. And he asks me if I’ve practiced…and I have to confess that I’ve been slack. Oh the tables have turned. 

So yes, I use Facebook to see how other people are doing life. And of course I know we tend to put our best on display. But sometimes you can just tell. Sometimes you know good people when you see them. And those are the types of people I want influencing my timeline (or whatever it’s called).

I’ve got an odd collection of social media friends. I’m Facebook friends with some of my mom’s friends. I’m Facebook friends with some people I haven’t even met in person, or only met once, because I saw positivity that I thought I’d like to influence my feed. 

So no, I don’t have social media figured out. I don’t know the rules…if there really are set rules. I just like drawing some positivity once in a while from people and pages I find encouraging. And I hope to genuinely provide a bit of that myself.  

A Shoutout

 

A shoutout to people who still know how to use filters when they speak, realizing the ultimate objective is not putting others in their place, but to create an environment where dialogue, learning and growth are valued.

A shoutout to people who still know how to dress modestly in public, realizing the world is not your personal space for you alone to be comfortable in. 

A shoutout to people who reprocess information, realizing that not everything was covered comprehensively in 5th grade. 

A shoutout to people who don’t create terms primarily to use as labels to insult those they don’t agree with. 

A shoutout to those that question from a position of curiosity rather than question for the purpose of condemnation. 

A shoutout to those who listen with the intent to understand. 

A shoutout to those who seek peace, even if a solution is not in sight. 

A shoutout to people who realize they are not stuck in traffic, rather, they are traffic. 

A shoutout to people who purpose to explain less with words, using actions more. 

A shoutout to people who act positively when the cameras aren’t on, and there’s little or no chance for attention. 

A shoutout to people who don’t need to  say “read that again”.

A shoutout to people who don’t have to be first in order to be winning. 

How My World View Failed Me and Everyone Else

Without going into particulars, the worst thing about my or anyone else’s world view is calling it a world view. I always should have kept it as simply a personal belief system. But once I promote my belief system to a world view, I’m basically proclaiming what “should” be for all, in order for the world to be a better place. That’s how a belief system (abbreviated bs) turns to BS. If everyone believed as I do, we’d all be better off (according to world view holders). Anyone who deviates from my belief system will inevitably encounter consequences which automatically are classified as “you problems”. Should’ve done it my way. Should’ve believed like I believe. 

See…it’s BS.

What I want now is for my belief system to be considered with as much courtesy and respect as the next guy’s. I don’t have to have certain stores celebrating my belief system with belief system friendly merchandise. Just compatible. Compatible with mine, no more, no less than the next guy’s.

Have you ever wondered where John Lennon got the lyric “Imagine there’s no heaven”? I haven’t researched and studied his philosophy. But my guess is he would be pretty elusive in his description when asked. And a lot of people I’ve known over the years really wouldn’t put much stock in his explanation anyway, as they’d prefer to apply their own explanation on his behalf with or without his input. Like…Lennon was anti god, anti heaven, and that song is proof. 

Well. I don’t know about that. Certain thoughts spring to mind when I consider that lyric. One thought is that it seems to me that many people’s endgame to their belief system is based on their view of eternity..the hereafter…heaven. And so they develop their belief system based on what matters in light of eternity..and consequently promote that as a world view for the here and now. 

How many wars have occurred because differing world views were in conflict? Because differing interpretations of the afterlife are applied to formulate these world views?

Side note: I love free will. But for the life of me I can’t figure out why people would war with others over differing religious beliefs. If God gave us free will, isn’t He already allowing for differing thought processes? And He gives everyone their lifetime to think it out…freely? So why would anyone take it upon themselves to truncate God’s timeframe for someone, especially if it resulted in eternal damnation? Wouldn’t God call those into account for playing god and cutting short a life He was allowing to live longer..under free will?

Anyway. 

So…imagine that dynamic didn’t exist..the striving to promote one’s world view over another through persecution, conflict and wars.. I can see how that could result in more peace here on earth, if that dynamic didn’t exist. Instead we have world views supposedly based in morality derived from divinely inspired writings..being forced upon the populations using whatever corrupt political strategies achieve the desired end result…free-will be damned. 

People see through that and are disgusted. I know I am. 

My personal belief system is fine for me. If we talk and help each other think through life’s difficulties…awesome. But I’m not going to impose my belief system on you or others. Nor do I want that from you. Of course we live under common laws for the sake of civility. And right now common laws allow me to observe my personal beliefs to the fullest extent I personally enjoy. That’s never really been in jeopardy in my lifetime, despite what fear some try to promote in an effort to secure their own belief systems while opposing others. 

I’m done with that, and have been done with that for years. 

Peace. 

…Or not. 

Much of that is up to you, depending if you can be at peace letting someone else live according to their belief system that is different than yours. If it bugs the hell out of you, well, that sounds like a you problem. And maybe that’s why peace is elusive. 

Born in 98

I was quietly awaiting my turn to get called back. Another patient walked in and was giving information to the receptionist. Something something 1998. A mere child I thought…. born in ‘98. Sheesh. I had to look up to see how young this child was. Except I didn’t see a child. I saw a burly man with a burly beard. My brain raced. 24? No way, I told myself. But honestly, he could’ve been two years into a profession by now. 

98, sigh. I had grandparents born in 98, or sometime in the 1890s. And this grown man was 100 years younger than my grandparents. Mind blown. In an instant 100 years flashed before my eyes. 

I’ve been to quite a few appointments recently. Getting poked, injected, imaged, and diagnosed. I’m actually quite ok. Well, part of me isn’t. But that isn’t anything new. Until recently I’ve been oblivious to a condition I’ve had my entire life. Why it took 60 years to manifest itself in the form of recognizable symptoms, I have no idea. I guess my case hasn’t been very severe. So I’m lucky in that regard. 

In today’s world my condition can be identified before birth, and in some cases even repaired in utero. That technology was not available when I was born. And like I said, I didn’t even experience outward symptoms until I was 60. And now my condition can be repaired laparoscopically. Most patients receiving my procedure are kids. Actual kids, not just by my definition. A couple of times some instruments had to be replaced because they were pediatric, not adult sized. But they can repair old guys like me too. It’s an amazing age. 

And the body is an amazing thing. We can both be resilient and fragile at the same time. Haven’t we all been rendered powerless by a single eyelash? And we’ve recovered from surgeries…that were brought on by other frailties. 

This recent health experience has made me more aware of my own aging process. I wonder what else is ticking in my body, and is just a matter of time before another dashboard light comes on. I’m also much more thankful to have a healthcare system that routinely checks for and treats issues I may have. I’m really fortunate in that regard. 

I’ve pretty much given away my age here, but I consider myself barely a boomer. I’ve never really bought into the boomer vs millennial drama. Most of the people taking care of me the last several months have been millennials. And I couldn’t be in better hands. Maybe it’s different in other fields. But in healthcare…millennials are nailing it in the workplace. At least, that’s been my experience. I bet that’s the case in other fields as well. And you know what? That gives me peace of mind. I’m not getting any younger. And nobody has called me “boomer” yet. And they won’t. They’re too respectful for that, in my experience anyway. 

Shoot…I’ve even been helped by some Gen Z’s along the way… gasp. Some of them are quite burly by now, having been born in …‘98…or so. Maybe we’re not quite so different after all. We’re just at different experience levels. That’s it. I’m at Boomer Level 61. Just a kid to some. Waiting for my childhood surgery, with the rest of the kids. 

My Year In Review

Once again I was named Luckiest Man of the Year…again…a streak of several years in a row now. The regularity is kind of like the Chiefs winning the AFC West, or the Jayhawks basketball team winning the Big12 title. Pretty consistent for years now. 

And I hope to continue that streak with this new year. If you’re like me, then you know I struggle with the word “luck”. I’m not sure I really believe in it. Maybe I believe more in dumb luck and smart luck. Smart luck is where you position yourself for good things to happen, then are still blown away when they do. And I’ll take whatever dumb luck comes my way. I still don’t know how to describe it. But I can’t exactly bring myself to say God has blessed me with all the excess I’ve accumulated or hoarded for myself. Nor can I say He hasn’t. So, for now, I’m calling it luck…with a wink and smile looking up, hoping for a wink and smile in return, realizing I may never receive it. But I’m still looking up with anticipation. 

Here’s to looking up with a wink and a smile in 2022. Happy New Year everyone. 

Give Generosity A Chance

I know what my natural tendencies are. I tend to hold on to what’s mine with a tight grip. I’ve earned it. Grown it. Not about to let go of it. It’s like that’s my natural default setting. But every once in a while I deviate. And, the results aren’t always the same. But there’s something about being generous that gives ME something that accumulating and holding tight can’t. 

I know. We can talk about motives all day. I’ve given to get. I’ve given for all the wrong reasons. But occasionally a well intended act of generosity has made its way from me. And it’s difficult to put into words, but sometimes the results for me are exhilarating. Not always. But sometimes. I’m thinking we all like that experience. But our defaults to accumulate and hold tight are similar as well. And it’s tough to let go. 

I don’t believe in giving until it hurts. And I would dissuade giving to get. I think we also have a built in sense to detect those who prey on others’ generosity. And we stay away from those types. Largely. Most of us. Yes, I know some give to a fault. But I also think we can discern and detect good opportunities to be generous. Not a guilt driven obligation. But an honest…I want to do this generous act…just because…and not need much of a reason. 

Recently someone commented on one of my food pics and I think it encapsulates what I’m talking about. The person described how sometimes they’ll buy an extra Papa Murphy’s pizza, put it on the smoker, and deliver it to someone who’s having a bad day. I wasn’t soliciting some do-gooder response. But I thought, what a great thing to do… when the motives are simple and pure. Super easy, but very impactful. 

Confession: I can’t remember the last time I put gas in my truck. Gas prices are a sensitive topic and I don’t want to be tone deaf in my narrative. But it’s been months since I’ve put gas in my truck. For one, I work from home, and I just don’t drive that much. But also over the last several months I’ve loaned out my truck to four different people who returned it with more gas than was in it when they borrowed it. Yes, that’s a decent thing to do when borrowing a vehicle. But I think generosity begets generosity. And to me, that’s a bit exhilarating. And it made a positive impact on me. 

Another thing…I didn’t initiate the process. I wasn’t going around …hey, want to borrow my truck?? (Nudge nudge wink wink, know what I mean??) …with hopes of getting my tank filled. The opportunity for me to be generous came to me. And when I said ok, I truly received more than I gave. I am aware of gas prices. In this case I felt like I received more than I gave. 

And no. You can’t borrow my truck. And yes, I still have a tendency to cling to what is mine. But I also know that to let that grip go once in a while can be a glorious thing. Rewarding in ways other than financial. It can just be good for the soul. 

Give generosity a chance. You just might enjoy the results. I bet you already have and you already know what I’m taking about. I sincerely hope so. 

Thank you for reading.