I used to think people were crazy when I heard them say, “if I had it to do over again, I’d do everything exactly the same way”. Given that option today, I’d at least have a long pause to think about it. But you know what? I’m good with where I’m at now on every level. No, I’m not saying things are perfect, but I’m at peace with things ...for the most part. I’ve come to grips with my former self, including decisions made earlier in life, and consequences that followed.
Sure, I still have plenty of flaws. I still get irritated. And with today’s uncertainties, who isn’t irritated from time to time? But the big picture? I’m at peace with my big picture, flaws and all.
No, this is not a proclamation of the right way to live life. I don’t have a recommended path that everyone should follow. I’m not writing a book on how to live life. My path was bumpy and maybe not even a path at times. And I’m certainly not at a final destination. I’m still trekking. But my trekking is at least somewhat more peaceful because I honestly believe I’ve made peace to some extent with my past...with all its bumps, bruises, poor choices, and maybe occasionally some good ones.
Really...can anyone claim to be where they are because they always made the right choices at every key moment in life? I’m not sure I’d trust anyone making that claim. I certainly wouldn’t be able to identify with them.
If life is a journey with difficult passages, I’d want to walk next to someone who understands the bumps. Someone with scraped knees. Maybe a finger with a swollen knuckle that prevents it from being straight. Maybe a pause in their attempt to stand straight after a rest. Maybe a hitch in their giddy up. But after they get upright, they extend that hand to help others get up and back on their path.
Remember, all scars have stories behind them, big or small. And those stories make more sense when exchanged during a journey. Even if the journey is only for a small stretch of the entire path.
No, my path hasn’t been the straight and narrow. And nobody knows exactly the course I’ve taken. I’ve surely forgotten parts of it myself. But I’m not there anymore. I’m here now. For a while. What’s behind is either learned from or forgotten. But it’s ground I’ve covered to get here. And I’m moving on, because I’m not done yet. Moving on with a slight pause in my giddy up...a finger that doesn’t quite work right..a slight tilt to my posture..a need to rest every so often...but still moving down a path. A path not suited for the younger me. But a path suited for a well seasoned sojourner. I’ve lived my whole life to be where I am now. So, here I am.
And if I had to do it all over again... I’m still not saying how I’d answer that question. But I’m glad to be where I am today. How ‘bout you?
