The Racist Bone

I always cringe a bit when I hear someone say “I don’t have a racist bone in my body”. I’m thinking that anyone who has done the deep dive into self analysis on that subject would realize that line is terribly non-convincing as an opener, and just isn’t true. 

A couple of years ago I had a garage sale as I was preparing to sell my house and relocate. Nothing brings out the neighbors like a garage sale. So I anticipated seeing and talking to folks I had relatively few conversations with during the 15 years I had lived there. 

One particular guy, after a few pleasantries just muttered “I sure hope it stays white” while looking at my house. My house was beige, but I knew that’s not what he was referring to. My “glare” filter must not have been working, as I’m sure I shot a loud look his way. Seeing that, his follow up was “oh I’m not prejudice or anything”...as if that would clear him of any suspicion. 

Well...it didn’t. Not in my mind. Unsurprisingly, perhaps, I had my suspicions during the 15 years we had been neighbors, but I had never called him out on anything. I had never heard anything as blatant come out of his mouth as garage sale day though. 

And honestly, I’m not sure what part upset me the most...the “I’m not prejudiced” or the “or anything”. The former was a specific denial. The latter, a broad global denial. And honestly, it all reminded me of the statement “I don’t have a racist bone in my body”.

You know, when I hear people say stuff like that, it’s fairly predictable what follows next. They’ll start listing friends they know or work with, or worse yet TV shows or movies featuring black actors they enjoy. But that doesn’t address the racist bone at all. And I believe the racist bone exists in all of us to some extent. 

If it exists in all of us, that doesn’t mean it exists in us all to the same degree. For instance, we all lie, but some of us to a greater extent than others. And if you balk at the idea that we all lie, consider how honest we are when somebody asks a simple question like “hey...how you doing today”. Are we ever completely truthful in that situation? Probably not, or people would quit asking (...lightbulb comes on...)

Thing is, nobody wants to admit to being a liar...even on the smallest scale. We admire integrity, and want others to count on our word. I get that. But when was the last time you heard someone boast they always tell the truth, and then act indignant if that is ever called into question. Ok...don’t think too hard on that one because someone will pop into mind and likely stir up negative emotions, as it just did with me. 

So, what is the racist bone we all have? And what does it look like to make positive strides to minimize its effect on our thought processes? Don’t we all have to learn and unlearn some things regarding racial issues? I think so. 

First, I think it’s healthy to acknowledge racial awarenesses exist, and we don’t initially fully understand them the first time we’re exposed to them. Consequently, we’re innocently ignorant and perhaps curious. But then we start to learn things ...sometimes things we later need to unlearn. Have we at any time watched the news and waited for the announcement of the race of a person, or a name, or a picture...something to get an idea of who was behind the atrocity just reported? Have we been in an airport and seen people different from us, speaking a different language than us, and perhaps we experience a little uneasiness... at least at first. Maybe after many exposures and experiences those uncertainties lessen over time. And that’s part of the maturing process... our personal individual maturing process. Nobody can learn that or experience that for us. We have to do it ourselves. 

We still have racial issues in our country...clear as can be. Those issues could be next door. Those issues could be inside of me, waiting for me to own them and make real progress. I might have to even change how I think or speak. Or I could just recite that I don’t have a racist bone in my body, and be done with it. But it will surface later. Perhaps at somebody else’s garage sale.