The Stench

Thirty years ago I was just a couple of months into a teaching and coaching position in a public school. I was young and eager to please and contribute in my new work environment, so I tried to do pretty much everything that was asked of me. I remember the time of year because it was beautiful fall weather. The mornings would be crisp and cold, frosty and frozen due to the overnight plunging temperatures. The afternoons were sunny and clear, and if the wind ceased long enough you could feel the melting warmth of the sun on your cheekbones. This particular year that wonderful fall cycle seemed to repeat itself many days in a row…frozen mornings thawed by warm afternoons followed by clear cold nights.

It was on one of these fall days that I was asked by a fellow faculty member to transport their jr high son to a sporting event after school. Circumstances were such that I had to drive anyway, so I welcomed the opportunity to take the young man along.

Actually, I remember feeling a little nervous and self-conscious before the drive. I didn’t think of myself as one of the “cool” teachers. I taught math, which was not many students’ favorite subject. And my transportation in those days…well, I pretty much drove clunkers that were only one step from the junkyard. But my mind was eased that night, as the young man I was transporting was extremely good natured, polite, and well behaved. Admittedly, I was skeptical that a young man in that age group would be capable of such amiable behavior, so I was relieved to find an exception during this commute.

The drive itself was about 30 minutes on backroads to the rival small town location. Road conditions were less than perfect in those days, and my car shook with every bump. But the conversation was upbeat, and I honestly thought both of us were equally enjoying our time together.

Then “The Bump” occurred. It’s not that it was a huge bump in the road, but perhaps a little bigger than the others, Noticeable, at the very least, but nothing that put us in any danger. I’m pretty sure we both felt the jar. But it’s not the jar that made this lasting memory that I recount these 30 years later. It was the stench that occurred just moments later.

The stench…on that level was something quite awkward to experience while in such close quarters with someone else. Eye watering…unadulterated…mind numbing stench.

I don’t know why I didn’t just call him out on the offense and maybe make light of the situation. Laugh it off, and just go our way. If I remember correctly, my car windows didn’t work properly, clunker that it was. Also I may have been curious to see how long the young guy would hold out. Or maybe I just didn’t want to put him on the spot and embarrass him. I was concerned about making a good impression with his parents, after all. So…I didn’t raise a stink… about the stink.

Instead I tried to constrain the look on my face and glance over at my travelling companion..only to find the same well-mannered polite young man I had experienced just seconds before. I don’t know. Maybe I expected him to have turned into some sort of monster…one capable of such putrid emissions. But the look on his face did not match the horrific smell I was sure we were both experiencing. Yet he did not let on, and he did not seem to express the same level of disgust I was experiencing. His countenance was unfazed and as pure as before.

Well this just furthered my curiosity. How could someone deal such an aromatic blow and remain as calm and unaffected as he appeared? Was he in total denial? Was he a master of deceptive cover-ups? What kind of person pulls this off? My goodness…what would his future bring? Would he someday be a high ranking politician…with an astute ability to deal out political stench and carry on as if nothing at all was wrong? I found myself slightly fascinated if not a little bit impressed. I didn’t know if I should be disgusted or in awe of his ability to maintain an air of innocence. His performance was intriguing, to say the least. My imagination was actively pondering the vast array of possibilities of someone possessing these stealthy qualities. What else was he capable of… I wondered to myself.

Well, soon enough we made it to our destination, and I’m sure our minds were quickly occupied with the sporting event we went to see. The outside air was again cold and crisp and clean. My mind was clear of any thoughts of the stench episode when I travelled home alone….my young companion having been reunited with his parents. Honestly, I didn’t think much about the stench, if at all…until the next day on my drive home from work. I was alone in the car this time, and the stench manifested itself again, just as pungent as before. This was strange because I didn’t notice any smell on the drive home the previous night, or on the drive to work the next morning.

Though I may have again suspected my young companion from the previous night for a moment, or maybe a conspiracy of like-minded lads, I dismissed those suspicions fairly quickly. There was simply no way someone could cause that level of stench without being present or having access to the inside of my car. So I had to look inward. As painful as it was, I had to consider that I somehow was responsible for the stench. But how?

Well, a thorough searching of the car’s trunk revealed a two week old container of cottage cheese that had escaped a grocery bag those two weeks earlier. I had casually searched for it when it was originally missing, but prematurely concluded that I had left it at the store. In two weeks’ time I had completely forgotten about it. However, this new search was intensified because it wasn’t just a harmless missing container of cottage cheese that could be anywhere. It had become an active eye-watering stink-bomb, two weeks in the making, freezing and thawing numerous times with the rise and fall of the autumn temperatures, odorless and frozen by night, decomposing by the warmth of day, until the spoiled mess burst the container’s seal after a bump on a country road.

Fortunately for me the container was still upright when I found it wedged in a nook beside the spare tire. Only the seal had broken. No spoiled contents had actually spilled, thank goodness. But the stench was strong and had penetrated the inside of the car on those two occasions after freezing at night and thawing in the mid-day sun.

I certainly don’t want to turn this into something preachy, but all these years later I still remember that event, and the part my active imagination played. Here are some of the lessons learned:

• There are times in my adult life where I’ve jumped to wrong conclusions about others and even assigned blame where it doesn’t belong.

• Much I’ve thought about others…can equally and fairly be thought about me.

• Others may be far more gracious with me than I have been with them, even when I’m to blame.

• Taking ownership is actually more freeing than blaming others, because ownership allows me to work independently on the solution.

Yes, these may be humbling realizations, but I don’t see how the air can be clear without them.